10 Characteristics of Selfish People and How To Deal With Them

How to tell if someone is selfish? Here are the characteristics of selfish people and how to deal with them elegantly.

We all have encountered one or more selfish people in life. They put themselves above others and care only about themselves. Needless to say, it’s hard to work or live with a selfish person.

While some of them are easy to spot from the crowd, many don’t show their true colors until you trust them and get disappointed. And if that someone is a close friend, partner, or family member, the signals can be blurred because of the intimacy.

So how do you tell if someone is self-centered? What are the characteristics of selfish people, and how do you deal with them? If you have the same questions, this post is for you.

Characteristics of selfish people

Avoid their responsibility

One of the characteristics of selfish people is the disproportionate responsibilities they take for what they ask for.

For example, a selfish husband will ask his wife to take care of the chores and the children. But he is not willing to contribute to the family.

A selfish person on a group project at school wants their name on the final presentation. But they have trouble finishing their parts.

The lack of give-and-take balance is a typical sign of selfishness. And most likely, they don’t even notice. Or if they do, they don’t think there’s anything wrong with them.

“Me-first” mentality

Selfish people are hard to work with for a reason.

In a setting that requires teamwork and cooperation, they will ask, “what will this benefit me?”

They are highly self-centered and focuses on their own interest. Anything that doesn’t bring them something in return is considered a waste of time.

They have very few real friends

One way to tell if someone is selfish is by checking their social circles. Selfish people have acquaintances but not real friends.

Friendship requires a certain level of sacrifice and compromise. It asks you to put yourself in your friends’ shoes and support them without expecting anything in return.

This is nearly impossible for selfish people. They can’t help but calculate. And they are often alone because no one wants to be in a one-sided or fake friendship.

They can’t deal with “no”

Most selfish people can’t handle rejection well. They expect others to meet their selfish needs. But when their requests are denied, they can get frustrated or even angry.

So if you want to tell whether a person is selfish, see how they react to your rejection when they ask you for a favor.

They tend to be rude.

As one of the selfish people quotes says, “when we think that we are automatically entitled to something, that is when we start walking all over others to get it.”

The rudeness selfish people show is mostly unintentional. They simply have very few thoughts for others. So they don’t realize they are being rude.

They will talk over you in a meeting or cut you in traffic. They ask you to help them, not caring about your willingness. It’s the lack of empathy that makes selfish people unknowingly rude and difficult to be around.

Unbothered by the influence

Selfish people don’t care about how their actions affect other people.

For example, when they leave the shopping cart in the parking lot without placing it in the aisle, they don’t think about whether it will block the next car or if anyone needs it.

When they call you up in the middle of the night, they don’t care if you will lose sleep because of that. The small things tell a lot about a person’s character.

Self-centered and egoist

The characteristics of selfish people are sometimes hidden behind their words. They may not voice their needs directly. But they tend to talk about themselves more than others.

Most of their sentences start with “I,” and you can sense their little to no consideration for others.

Ungratefulness

Selfish people aren’t thankful for the help they receive. Instead, they take it for granted. And they rarely think about how to return the favors.

The source of these toxic traits is the feeling of privilege. They consider themselves better than others and are entitled to others’ time and attention.

They have no interest in sharing.

Whether it’s movie tickets, homebaked goodies, or informational resources online, selfish people are not used to sharing with others.

They are programmed to keep the valuables to themselves. And any attempt to force them to share will raise their alerts.

Selfish people are impossible to satisfy.

They always want more even when you have given them what they asked for. Greed and selfishness often appear together in one person.

And because they are used to getting what they want, it raises the threshold of satisfaction. That’s why it’s exhausting to deal with them.

Things selfish people do

To give you a better idea of the characteristics of selfish people, here is a list of selfish acts they will do in daily life.

It’s worth noting that one or two items on the list don’t necessarily identify a person as selfish. But if you know someone that checks most of the following behaviors, likely, they care only about themselves.

A selfish partner:

• Doesn’t answer or return calls or messages.
• Only considers himself while making important decisions.
• Manipulates you to get what they want.
• Doesn’t do his parts of chores or parenting.
• Doesn’t admit his faults.

Selfish people at work:

• Fail to deliver on their tasks.
• Always ask for someone else to help.
• Never volunteer to help.
• Avoid responsibility as much as possible.
• Take credit for other people’s work.

Selfish people in friendship:

• Only come to you when they need a favor.
• Rarely check in with you.
• Are reluctant to share.
• Always talk about themselves and make themselves the center of each conversation.
• May become irritated when you turn down their requests

How to deal with selfish people

Selfish people are hard to deal with. So how do you cope when you have them in your life? Here are some practical strategies for dealing with selfish people.

Learn from them

As counterintuitive as it sounds, there are things we can learn from selfish people, especially if you are used to putting others before yourself.

Selfish people, on the contrary, always put themselves first. They know what’s good and bad for them and make decisions with their best interests in mind.

So if you feel guilty putting yourself first, learning from the characteristics of selfish people will help you to love yourself more.

But also know that loving yourself is different from being selfish. It’s “me too” instead of “me first.”

You can make yourself a priority without stepping on others. That’s something selfish people can’t do.

Don’t try to change them

Selfishness is a personal trait that, once formed, is hard to change. It will take intentional practices and interference to correct one’s selfish behaviors.

So if you have a selfish partner or coworker, don’t waste your time and energy trying to save them, especially when they don’t see an issue in themselves.

Stop fulfilling their requests or expectations.

As mentioned before, selfish people are impossible to satisfy. They will always have new favors to ask and new needs. And they will be upset even when you miss one of them.

So why bother to please them in the first place? If you are not comfortable with what they ask from you, simply say no. Protect your boundaries.

When you make yourself hard to be taken advantage of, they will stop trying to manipulate you. And you will make your life will be easier.

If you can, stay away

You deserve the same level of attention and energy you put into a relationship. Efforts should be mutual. Know that you will do better without toxic people holding you back.

What’s your story?

So here are the characteristics of selfish people and how to deal with them. How did you handle them in your life? Leave a comment down below and share your thoughts!